


Santa Baby

by Ladadee195



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Christmas Music, Christmas Smut, Crossdressing, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Oral Sex, PWP, Suicide mention, but its not serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 14:33:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17102387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladadee195/pseuds/Ladadee195
Summary: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flat not a creature was stirring...except for an electro poof and his jazz maverick boyfriend.





	Santa Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Booshmas to the Booshlrs!!  
> this is my gift to you all for being such a wonderful and welcoming community.  
> and I hope every time you hear this song you think of this fic.

“Santa baby” Vince sang quietly to himself, sitting at his vanity surrounded by beauty products. 

“Mmmmmm, been an awful good girl. Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight. Santa baby, mmmmmmm, I'll wait up for you, dear. Think of all the fun I've missed.” The record played softly, the volume turned down low for only his ears. 

“Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed” he pursed his ruby red lips for the mirror. 

“Next year I could be also good, If you'll check off my Christmas list” he very carefully applied the black eyeliner around his eyes as the record continued to play. It was one of Howard’s older jazz records that he had held onto from childhood. It was one of the only ones that Vince not only played for himself but allowed Howard to play as well. An since it was full of classic Christmas songs, it always made an appearance around the holidays. 

His bright blue eyes darted to the window.

It was snowing! 

Big fat flakes fell past the window making him smile. He loved Christmas. Everyone always cheerful and pleasant. The parties festive and wild. The presents! Not just getting them but giving them. He loved giving presents. Seeing people light up when they opened the perfect gift. 

Christmas was genius. 

Howard didn’t think so. He was more the type to go around sticking his head into ovens when the holidays became too much. He always stressed and got depressed when no one but Vince got him anything. 

This year though things were going to be different. 

It was their first Christmas together, as a couple. The thought brought a bright smile to his face. It had only been a few months but it didn’t feel like that at all really. After all they had been together for most of their lives and Vince couldn’t remember a day without Howard by his side. Being together like they were now felt as natural as breathing or knowing all the words to every Bowie song. It just worked and neither of them questioned it much. Which surprised Vince slightly. 

He thought Howard would’ve had something to say about it after the first month but he hadn’t. No misgivings or second thoughts. Maybe, Vince thought, there were doubts and Howard was keeping them to himself? Or maybe the doubt was slow to arrive and it just hadn’t hit him yet? Whatever the case Vince was glad there hadn’t been any hiccups in the relationship. Besides it wasn’t like a lot had changed really. 

They still spent almost every waking moment together. 

Still bantered back and forth like children. 

Still crimped and chucked satsumas at each other.

Now, it just normally ended in a heavy snogging session or more exciting, a bumming. 

With that naughty thought in mind Vince, now finished applying makeup, stood and studied himself in the floor length mirror.

His hair was perfectly done, all shiny smooth and artfully ruffled. His makeup was subtle but noticeable enough to make everything pop, specially his eyes. All of this was of course normal for him on any given day. What wasn’t very normal, but still pretty much par for the course, was the mini dress that clung to his frame. Red and white, in a Santa suit pattern with cap sleeves, the knitted dress went to about mid thigh on him. It even came with a jaunty Santa hat with a big round white puff ball at the end. He had paired the dress with a pair of his best shiny knee high black boots. And to top it off he wrapped a boa of silver garland around his neck, stolen from the decorations for just this occasion. 

All in all he looked amazing and he knew that tonight would be the best Christmas eve ever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, Howard sat on the couch in the front room with a fresh cup of tea. The TV on in front of him, a Christmas special of some sort played on without his attention. Instead his attention remained focused on the window. Big fat snowflakes had started drifting passed about 15 minutes ago and he still hadn’t turned his gaze away. 

A pine green plastic Christmas tree stood just to the left of the window shining brightly at him. Dozen and dozens of little multi colored lights wound there way around the fake tree. Glass bulbs filled with glitter and cheery snowman hung on branches with precision and care. Beside the bulbs hung brightly colored glass instruments. A flaming red guitar, a brass trumpet, a shiny silver flute, and a cheeky saxophone; tilted just so as of it were being played. Wrapped around it all was a glittery silver garland. There were meant to be two, but Howard hadn’t been able to find the second one and so had to make the first one look longer. It hadn’t worked and now the tree looked half finished.

Beneath the tree sat a good amount of presents. All signed and addressed to Vince Noir. Not left there by Santa but by the mass of followers and admirers the electro prince had. Presents had been arriving at the door all week, just in time for Christmas morn. Towards the back, tucked in the shadows and wrapped in sensible brown packing paper, sat four or five presents. 

From Howard to Vince. 

They had all been thoughtfully and lovingly picked and wrapped. A long scarf, in different hues of blue, run through with silver thread. Such a small thing in Howard’s opinion but he knew as soon as he had seen it that Vince would love it. Every gift had a similar theme; bright, shiny, flimsy. The sort of things Vince adored. 

Howard liked more substantial items. Books, records, socks. Things that held meaning, for the recipient and hopefully for giver. Though Howard held no doubts that Vince saw meaning In every scrap and piece of fabric he was gifted. 

The only less then substantial items that Howard held dear were the glass instruments on the tree. Every year without fail Howard would find one tucked safely in his stocking. Vince had been getting him one every year since they started cohabitation.

It was a nice tradition. 

Well it had been until Vince had bluntly informed him that he had run out of instruments. 

It was ok. There were a lot already and Howard knew it wouldn't last. Besides, now that they were a couple they could make new traditions. Find new gifts and meaningful gestures. One huge meaningful gesture sat hidden in the drawer of his bedside table, encased in blue velvet, ready and waiting for Howard to gather his courage. Which he knew from experience might be never. 

Just as well, their relationship hadn’t changed much in the last few months besides adding sex to the mix.

And kissing, there was a lot of that, and not just in bed. It seemed every time they saw each other Vince was pressing up against him, greeting him with a small pecks on the lips. It was nice, more than nice, amazing. It had taken Howard a while to get used to the constant affection but had eventually grown quite fond of it. He even expected and looked forward to it. 

The sex on the other hand hadn’t come as easy, at least for Howard it hadn’t. Vince took to it like a duck to water, which Howard expected really. Vince wasn’t the virgin here after all. Fortunately Howard was a quick and fastidious learner. A lot of it relied on instinct and Vince’s surprising amount of patience. After the initial first months where they managed to somehow continue and maintain a functional relationship outside of their normal friendship, things settled down and Howard felt comfortable and content.

Now they were about to celebrate their first Christmas together and Vince was hidden away in their room. Most likely getting ready for a night out. Christmas eve, one of the biggest party nights of the year according to Vince. Howard tried not to feel too put out that his boyfriend was leaving for the night. Things had been good. They could spend a night away from each other. Even if it was Christmas eve. He just hoped that Vince wouldn’t stay out all night and morning too. Waking up alone Christmas morning would be depressing. 

Suddenly feeling lonely, Howard turned his gaze away from the window. He briefly wondered if there was enough snow to make going outside impossible, then went to check on Vince. 

Howard knocked on the closed bedroom door.

“Vince? You’ve been in there a lot longer than usual” He hoped he didn’t sound needy or like he was complaining. He learned quite quickly to never interrupt Vince during his beauty regime.

“M’busy Howard” It was the only response, and it was dismissive. 

Howard got the picture and left him be. He returned to the couch, the tv, and his now cold tea. 

A moment later the bedroom door clicked open, and almost immediately Howard could hear music winding its way around the flat. 

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me  
Been an awful good girl  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

He recognized the song from his Christmas jazz record and looked up to find Vince at the threshold of the living room. Dressed in the shortest dress that Howard had ever seen him in. The dress came to mid thigh, and except for a thick smattering of hair there just seemed to be an expanse of creamy pale skin that ended just above knee high boots. Howard had seen those boots before, on multiple occasions, but the dress. The dress was new and tight, very tight, it clung to Vince in all the right places. Hilariously, the knitted dress had a Santa suit pattern and looked very very thin. To finish the whole thing off Vince had wrapped the missing garland around his neck, and donned a flimsy Santa hat. The whole outfit was stunning and Howard realized too late that he had been staring. 

Clearing his throat, Howard stood and after an awkward moment finally managed to look away. “where you off to then?” How long had he been staring? Unfortunately when he looked away he missed how Vince’s expression changed from teasingly amused to confused. 

“off to?”

“yeah, you only tart yourself up like that when your going out with your mates, where you off to?” Howard repeated. He was glad that he sounded more curious than demanding. He was genuinely curious if not for the simple fact that it would be easier to find him later that night when Vince eventually needed rescuing. 

The music was still playing softly in the background.

Come and trim my Christmas tree  
With some decorations bought at Tiffany  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me

Vince gave a deep sigh “it's for you, you muppet” he shook his head and slowly approached Howard until he stood directly in front of him. Only a few inches shorter now thanks to the heels on his shiny boots. “It's all for you…” 

“what?” 

“why would I go out tonight and leave you all alone. It's our first Christmas together” Vince explained slowly before reaching up the last few inches and planting a warm kiss on Howard’s lips. He pulled away with a bemused smile and Howard realized that Vince had wrapped the shiny garland around his neck instead.

“I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was” Howard responded, suddenly feeling warmer and not so alone now. “It's only been a few months” 

Vince’s bemused smile quickly changed back to teasing when he not so gently pushed Howard back towards the sofa. Forcing the older man to sit. He still had the garland in one hand and it came free from Howard in the process.

Dropping the garland, Vince approached him.

“You know sometimes you can be really thick, it's a good thing your cute” Vince stated as he situated himself in Howard's welcoming lap. It was a position that Vince had adopted constantly over the months so Howard wasn’t complaining. Especially when the stretchy fabric of the dress inched up Vince’s thighs so high that Howard could make out the little red pants underneath. 

“Cute? Pardon me sir but Howard Moon is not cute, if anything I'm handsome” He couldn’t help running his hands along the younger man's skin, just to feel the warmth. He smiled when his hands dragged the hair against the grain, making Vince shudder and hum pleasantly. A year ago he wouldn’t have described himself as either handsome or cute, but being with Vince brought a level of confidence to Howard he never thought he would possess.

“Cute handsome wots the difference?” Vince asked leaning forward and planting a line of kisses down Howard’s jaws. Then down his neck, making him moan quietly.

The record had switched songs by this point but neither of them seemed to care. 

Howard redirected Vince until they were kissing properly. He could taste the slight fruity flavor of Vince’s lipstick. It was sticky and he knew from experience that the tacky gooey lip gloss would be all over his face and mustache. He'd grown to ignore the need to wash it off in favor of more exciting activities. 

Vince’s hands were tangled in his hair. He was whining and whimpering as they kissed. His tongue flicked and wrapped around his own in erotic dance of saliva and lip gloss. He was moving too, grinding against Howard in something close to desperation. Probably had something to do with the way Howard had slid his hands right up and around Vince’s thighs, under the cotton pants and was now groping and squeezing his bottom enthusiastically. 

It was his go to move apparently, according to Vince. Howard had been embarrassed but Vince had been flattered and gone on about how Howard’s hands just gravitated there on their own without Howard’s knowledge. He couldn’t blame them, Vince had a gorgeous arse. 

His cheeky hands were quickly forgotten about as Vince’s equally cheeky if more clever fingers ran down his chest and slipped under his jazzy Christmas jumper and then his vest to touch the warm smooth skin of his stomach. An act that had him gasping, twitching, and perhaps making him tighten his hold on Vince.

After that it was a race to see who could get into the others pants faster. Howard won due to the simple fact that Vince had nothing else but his pants on while Howard had sensible trousers. By this point Vince’s dress had been pushed up and past his pants and was bunched around his waist. Howard barely had his hand wrapped around Vince’s straining erection when Vince finally wormed his way into Howard’s trousers and pants to stroke his own length.

Working up a rhythm together, moaning into each other's mouths. Howard, with what brain power that wasn't dedicated to trying not to cum in his pants and keeping up the steady strokes of his hand, reflected on fact that when he and Vince were like this -this being the sloppy snogging wanking times- it always felt like the first time. Always hot, desperate, and filthy. It wasn't usually until they made it to their bed that things slowed and relaxed. 

Not yet, Howard thought, gasping when Vince exposed him to the cool air of the flat. Vince’s sly grin was ruined with a groan when Howard returned the favor, batting Vince’s hand away and taking them both in his hand.

Scooting closer until he was pressed as close as possible Vince returned his hands to Howard’s hair and peppered kisses down his neck and then up to his ear.

“Howard” he groaned, rocking against him “mm got myself all tarted up just for you” all Howard could do was groan back in response. His hand soon became slippery and slick as they leaked pre cum. “wouldn’t you love to take me back to the bedroom and ruin me” 

With a growl he let them go, wrapped his arms around the younger man and stood. Lifting Vince along with him as if he weighed nothing. Squealing and laughing, Vince wrapped his booted feet around Howard and held onto him for dear life. Howard moved from the sitting room, down the hallway, and then into their bedroom. 

Once inside Vince attempted to scramble free so Howard let him go only to get a nice view of Vince’s pant clad bottom stalking away from him. Not bothering to fix his dress, Vince reset the needle on the record player. Santa Baby filled the space between them again. 

Think of all the fun I've missed  
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could be also good

This is familiar now. The times where things slow down and they take their time instead of rushing towards a climax. Sitting heavily on the still unmade bed, Howard watched Vince rid himself of the red pants and then start on the dress.

“No, leave it” Howard interrupted. “Come here?” he said pulling his own trousers and pants off before working on his shirt buttons. 

Vince smiled at the demand that sounded more like a suggestion and approached him. “The boots too?” he asked stifling a bemused giggle. 

Howard nodded, finished undressing, and moved further onto the bed making Vince follow until he was kneeling before the older man in his dress and boots. Then at all once Howard lent up and Vince lent down and they met in the middle. Lips pressed together, mouths open, tongues fighting hotly. Groaning deep in his chest Vince pressed against Howard until he was lying flat with Vince against him.

Naked skin against naked skin. 

Their erections twitched and throbbed against each other as they’re legs tangled. The pre-cum spilling from them both barely adequate lube, making the friction almost unbearable, but neither of them seemed willing to stop long enough to fetch the necessary items. 

With a gasp, Vince broke away. Panting hotly against Howard’s skin he started planting sucking kisses down Howard’s neck, no doubt leaving more than one possessive mark. Moving down further Vince grinned playfully, nipping and licking at the flushed skin of Howard’s collar bone before moving further and further south.

Howard sighed and whined after each burning touch, and when Vince moved down his chest to lav both nipples thoroughly he giggled helplessly. He couldn’t help that he was sensitive, and Vince knew so he was most likely doing it to make Howard laugh. He wasn’t laughing when Vince moved on. Leaving a line of worshipful kisses down his stomach. Vince moved to circle his fist around Howard’s twitching member, causing him to gasp loudly and buck up unexpectedly. Vince was barely stroking him, barely even touching him but it felt amazing all the same. 

“Vince….Vince more” he gasped, wincing a bit at how needy he sounded. Vince didn’t seem to care. He merely smiled and continued on down the path until, much to Howard’s delight, licked a long line from the base of Howard’s erection right to the top. Here he paused and swirled his tongue, collecting the wetness while humming happily. After a few agonizing moments he slowly began lowering his mouth further and further down until he had no room left. Then and only then did he grip the base, pull off for just a fraction, and swallow the length down again. 

Howard couldn’t keep still, couldn’t keep his hips from arching up. He still couldn't believe how good at this Vince was, not that he had any other experiences to compare it to of course. He was pretty sure even a bad blowjob would still be a good blowjob. 

Glancing down proved a bad idea for his stamina. Seeing Vince bent over him, ruby red lips stretched around his cock nearly sent Howard over the edge. Somewhere along the way Vince had lost the santa hat. Which was good because Howard couldn’t help reaching down, clutching at the shiny strands of hair and then thrusting up with a grunt. Normally Vince’s hair would be off limits but he never seemed to care what Howard did to his precious locks while in the throes of passion. Vince took Howard's movements in stride. Never once relenting his hold, he only sucked and licked and brought Howard closer to release. Then without warning he pulled away with a gasp, a strand of hair stuck to his lips. His lipstick somehow had stayed on but his lips looked swollen and shiny. Howard wanted to kiss him again, taste himself on that grinning mouth. 

Vince had other ideas it seemed. Sitting up he launched himself out of bed, almost crashed into his vanity and started to root through its many drawers. Grateful for the short reprieve Howard rolled to his side with an amused smile and watched Vince. Bare from the waist down, little dress half way up his stomach, hair sticking every which way. Howard thought he never looked more beautiful.

Bounding back to bed, lube and condoms in hand, Vince climbed up and easily straddled Howard's lap. Cheeky grin in place he handed Howard the lube and scooted closer so that their leaking, flushed erections slid together with delicious friction. 

“go on O’ward, just like I taught you. One, two, three” His grin became brighter somehow as he held up three fingers. Howard wanted to tell him off for being patronizing. He knew what to do and how to do it by now. He also knew that Vince was being genuine and only wanted to help. It had been like that from the beginning. Howard still didn’t understand how Vince could be this patient with him when he couldn’t even stand to wait for his toast to be done. 

“I know what I'm doing thank you” he said kindly as he applied the lube to his fingers before curling his hand around Vince’s hip.

Vince’s breath hitched and his eyes fluttered close in pleasure as his finger massaged the tight ring of muscles before softly penetration him. Howard knew he didn’t have to be so soft and gentle. They had done this enough over the last months that Vince was well used to the act. Still, Howard couldn’t help handling the younger man with anything but gentle kindness. He soon added another finger, then made sure to stretch that tight ring, scissoring his fingers and listening to Vince moan and hiss as his pleasure increased. Vince began rocking and undulating his hips, hands pushing against Howard’s chest, short nails biting into the sensitive flesh. The rocking caused Howard’s fingers to probe deeper making Vince gasp and whine, biting his shiny red tinged lips to keep from calling out. 

This went on for a few seconds longer. 

Vince rocking along with Howard’s movements. 

Howard trying very hard to keep composed and not throw Vince to the bed and have his way with him. 

Fortunately it didn’t take long for Vince to request another finger. His voice deeper, huskier, almost breathless. 

“Another Howard, one more” he added rocking faster and faster. His erection bobbed, nudging against Howard’s with each thrust. The third finger was a tighter fit but Howard managed it with a bit of wiggling. Soon after they deemed Vince ready, he grabbed the lube from where it had been left and spread it liberally onto Howard with an excited smile. Then he was moving forward, positioning himself and Howard until he could easily sink down onto Howard’s cock. Which he did with a shuddering gasp. “F-fuck, Howard you always feel so good!” he hissed, heading tipping back in ecstasy. Ebony locks fell down his back in shiny waves. 

“Mmmmmm so ugh tight” Howard groaned, gritting his teeth against the intense sensation of being enveloped in tight wet heat. 

He couldn’t help staring in wonder. Vince was always gorgeous, no matter the position or lighting but here now he looked fantastic. His little Christmas dress had been pushed higher. His hard leaking cock stuck obscenely out from under it, and his boots squeaked as he shifted his weight. 

They both let out sighs of absolute pleasure when Vince reached the end of his descent. Leaning forward he gripped Howard’s shoulders tightly and kissed him hard. Howard returned the kiss with a whine that turned into a loud gasp when Vince eventually began to move on top of him. Pulling away, Vince laughed happily at Howard reaction and then sat up to ride him properly. Perfect muscular thighs allowing him to easily lift up and then down in flawless rhythm. 

Reaching out, Howard gripped those perfect thighs. Fingers curling against the warm skin, feeling the muscles underneath flexing and shifting as Vince moved. Using his grip as leverage, Howard planted his still socked feet on the bed and thrust up violently just as Vince came down, eliciting a loud sob from the younger man.

They carried on like this for another few seconds. 

Howard relished the sobs and near shouts that Vince never sought to stifle every time he slammed down against him. Howard himself had a hard time trying to muffle his own growly moans as he felt that tight heat clench around him just before Vince lifted up again. 

It was well past the slow relaxed motions of a few minutes ago. They had lapsed into the desperate adrenaline fueled race to cum. Vince had his eyes squeezed shut, creating a furrow in his brow that suggested pain but Howard knew indicated nothing but pleasure. Shifting just slightly caused Vince to cry out louder than before. Then suddenly he stopped moving. Sitting heavily against Howard, he panted for breath. His body shook and twitched as every nerve ending alighted. Then he began a slow grind, rocking back and forth, gritting his teeth and hissing when the pleasure spiked like a red hot iron up his spine. Howard knew then that he had found Vince’s prostate and now Vince was greedily exploiting the spot. 

Releasing a tense thigh Howard reached forward further and stroked Vince’s bobbing member, eliciting another loud sob from the younger man that dissolved into a series of ragged moans. 

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ohhhh ah! Howard, f-fuck! Yes! Yes! Nghh!” Vince all be screamed out his release, painting Howard’s stomach and chest with creamy cum. 

It didn’t take Howard long after that to find his own release. He let out deep sob when he felt those internal muscles flutter and clench around him. He began thrusting up into the delicious heat desperately. The whole time gasping and panting with exertion, until like lightning racing through his veins he was cumming in thick spurts.

Still twitching and rocking slowly, Vince smiled and finally focused his gaze on Howard. Who grinned back wearily, love shining back at him in turn. 

With a deep breath Vince separated himself from Howard, grabbed some tissues and cleaned the mess from Howard’s torso. Then, after stripping off the dress and boots, he laid himself down against Howard with his head pillowed comfortable on his chest. Still trying to catch his breath, he nuzzled his face into the slightly sweaty flesh, pressing small warm kisses where he could reach. He finally wrapped his arms around the older man and hummed happily. 

Through it all Howard watched him tiredly. Half paying attention half listening to the record. Vince must have set the turntable to repeat the song because he could still hear the last few lines of Santa Baby playing softly in the background. 

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
I don't mean on the phone  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight 

Hurry down the chimney tonight 

Hurry, tonight…..

Vince was singing along, his voice muffled against Howard’s chest. He could feel the warmth of Vince’s breath every time he exhaled. Closing his eyes, Howard gathered his courage and clumsily reached into his bedside table drawer. 

It seemed he could wait no more, the chosen song demanded a ring and Howard knew it was the best time to do it. 

“O’ward?” Vince asked sitting up curiously. 

“shhh” he responded, not wanting the post coital atmosphere to fade. Pulling out the small velvet box he saw Vince’s eyes widen just a fraction more. Howard smiled sheepishly and held it out to Vince, still closed but the intent was clear. 

“It took three months rent to buy it” and three of his best rare jazz albums, plus a promise to Naboo that he would pay him back. “but I knew as soon as we were both serious about us that it was a must. I know it's only been a few months but it feels like a lifetime, hasn't it? And I-”

“Yes! Yes Howard, yes!” Vince was beaming. His trademark sunshine smile shining brightly at Howard. Even though his eye make up had run slightly and his lipstick had all but come off, he still looked gorgeous. 

Opening the box revealed a good sized sapphire set among smaller white diamonds. It was the best he could afford and he thought the blue of the sapphire would bring out Vince’s eyes. He was right. 

“this is amazing Howard, it's the best Christmas present ever” he said leaning forward and kissing him deeply “I love you” he whispered as he pulled away. 

“Love you too little man” Howard responded just as quietly. 

Cuddling close to him, Vince closed his eyes and fell into a light doze. Turning off the lamp Howard settled down as well, but not before glancing towards the window. 

It was still snowing. 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> this was edited like three times so I hope there are no errors I really do.  
> Comments and kudos are always welcome underneath my Christmas tree!


End file.
